We got home from Syria on Wednesday late night, and Friday morning Ammar went to San Francisco alone for conference. It was a wise decision not to tag along with him. The kids are still having jetlag and seemed to be tired all the time.
I thought I would have hard time staying at home alone with them, but actually I kinda like it... I don't have to make beds, I don't have to cook special dinner for my husband... I just cook whatever me and my kids love. I don't have to clean up a lot.. we live messy a bit... toys are all around the house.. every where!
One thing I missed, is sleeping with warm body next to me. Being married for 7 years plus made me hate to sleep all by myself, so I have been tagging Nadia along with me all the nights Ammar's out. One thing I regret, for some reason (rarely happens), Nadia wet her pants and all my king size bed last night. What a work... washing all this sheets, liner, and the down comforter.. it takes 3 80 minutes drying time to fully dry this down comforter. As much as I want to 'kill' the girl... I think I am still going to keep her by my side tonight... despite of what happened. I love it that I could hug her all night long.... nothing like hugging your own kids in your bed.. much better than you own hubby who is so much bigger! Sorry Ammar, no offense.

First frost. It's freezing cold today and we woke up at 7.30 am seeing the frost all over the grass. For crying out loud, it's only October 3rd and we just got into the fall. I am afraid the real winter will be so unbearably cold.

I am blessed on this Ramadan Month. My eyes were opened wider to see what's good for you and what's not good for you.

God opened up my eyes and showed me the bad things in my life, then bombarded me with lots of bliss, in friendships and the way I should look up to in our family life. I learnt that I should always trust my husband's gut's feeling towards any of my friends, he never told me to do so, just a suggestion, and now, I learnt my lesson, as he told me : "I told you a long time ago... now it happened" God proved and showed us boldly, things that has been look so vague to become real and obvious. 

My husband, for the first time in 3 years finally will get a bonus, which will cover the whole expenses to go to visit our families in the other side of the world, with the possibility of salary raise. Alhamdulillah.

The kids, have to learn the good way and the hard way to start forget about things they love, replace them with something way better. 

The only thing still bothered me, but I trusted God's power to place our family wherever the best, the schools I applied. I am just only hoping to start school again next year.

Nadia and Aidan both love their school and they are such a bliss in our life.

I learnt that I have to stand for my family no matter what. 

Ramadan always remind me how God always be so close to me and make my wish comes true, one of them is the husband I asked in year 2000, on Ramadan.... someone who is honest and love me. 

Thank you so much for your blessing, Allah. Amin.

Happy Eid Mubarak,

Selamat Hari Raya Idul Fitri

1 Syawal 1429 

October 1, 2008

With our humble words, we all would like to apologize for every mistakes we made, in the past, now, or in the future so we all can start fresh.

Eid Mubarak from all of us.

Much Love,

Ammar, Sari, Nadia and Nadia

I remember the last time I really had totally wonderful time when I was pregnant with Nadia and we walked on the street in downtown Boston, freezing cold, awesome friends and awesome Japanese food.

Last night, it was one mighty cool/fun/bliss time with my Indonesian sistas, and I was totally forgetting at that time that I am married and have kids. I feel like I was still living in Jakarta, outing with totally awesome friends. I can't put words how much I really enjoyed this last minute gathering, but sure it made my day.

Dewi, Dwipa, and Evita.... I love you guys so much! Evita... happy birthday and have a wonderful trip to Indonesia.

I talked to my mom today.... boy, do I miss her a lot. Everyone is doing fine, the youngest cousin, Zhara started to do fasting fully. My Nadia is just starting, she fasts like 2 hours.. hahaha

Got a new 50mm lens today. It really take sharp pictures. It is so small, light weight and fast. With the aperture of 1.8 sure it will work on the low lighting. Cool.

I took picture of the flower in front of my house with the bumble bee pollenating the flower. I cropped just for the flower, and it appeared very sharp still.

I also took pics of Nadia and Aidan. Can't complain.

This is our 3rd times in Canada for the past 3 months.... but it has been really nice.

Ammar's brother and his family who live in Kuwait, had to come with the whole family again because they are in the process of the citizenship. We arrived yesterday, eagerly to see the kids again, and found out we got really nice great news from them. They had their citizenship yesterday and they got the passports for each of them. Yay!!!!

Now, we are getting so excited that next time they come to Canada, they will be able to visit us at our home...

Nadia and Adnan, the youngest child play together so well while Aidan play with all of them.

It's so fun to finally get together with cousins and family in North America.... looking at them spending time together as cousins... priceless!

While packing, I saw a spider, like 1/10 inch long on the window, I grabbed my macro lens, and here what I got. It's so hard to focus on the fuzzy little spidey.

We are set to go on November til December. The tickets have arrived.

Fall 2000

Fall 2001

Winter 2002

Big Island Hawaii, September 2002

Nadia Sarah, 2004

Wedding Celebration, Indonesia December 2006

Aidan Omar, 2007

Our anniversary came on the first day of Ramadan, The Holy Month. 2 special days at the same day. We have been so blessed, I can not thank God enough for his blessings in our lives. 

Happy 6th anniversary, Happy Ramadhan.

To announce our new 'child', Nico. I am so HONORED to design his birth announcement. I am so happy for you, Maria!!! Much love from our family.

Today, we had a wonderful Indonesian Independence Celebration at the Park. 

Photos will follow.

I also worked on my school application, boy... that's a hard work, writing and essays, personal letters, updating my CV, contacting the people who could send recommendation letters, etc.

Almost done with everything, and this really makes me got some thrills. 

Nothing more than when your husband fully support my decision to go back to school and willing to move where ever town which I got accepted at. 

Life is great. Life is generous. I hope I will get accepted.

Happy Birthday, Dad!

Happy birthday to the best dad I know,

A father I love and respect,

A dad who fulfills all his duties

To teach, to guide, to protect.

If everyone had such a father,

A really good dad like mine,

The world would be so much better,

It would look like God’s own design.

It's been 14 years since I have never seen you,

Every time I see my children,

I always wonder what you would think about them

I know deep in my heart, you are proud of them

It's been 14 years since you died

I always cherish you as the best dad ever

The one that I always fond of

The one that I always so proud of

Dad, I put your pictures next to my bedside

Just to remind me how much I love you

So your grandchildren will remember your handsome face

And they know they have great grandpa like you

I love you, Dad

I love you, Wak Andak. May God Bless you and have you stay on His side.
May all the families and relatives are given the strength for the loss.

Bang Imad Dimakamkan di Kalibata
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Artikel Terkait:
Tokoh ICMI, Bang Imad, Berpulang
Sabtu, 2 Agustus 2008 19:45 WIB
JAKARTA, SABTU-Karangan bunga terus berdatangan ke kediaman almarhum Muhammad Imaduddin Abdulrahim (77) yang akrab dipanggil Bang Imad Jalan Bulak Raya Nomor 33, Klender, Jakarta, Sabtu (2/8) malam. Karangan bunga datang antara lain dari Wapres Jusuf Kalla, mantan Presiden BJ Habibie, Mensesneg Hatta Radjasa, Menhub Jusman Syafii Jamal, dan Menkominfo Muhammad Nuh.
Bang Imad adalah Anggota Dewan Kehormatan Ikatan Cendekiawan Muslim Indonesia (ICMI), yang semasa hidupnya dikenal sebagai seorang yang selalu untuk memperbaiki kualitas SDM umat melalui metode latihan mujahid dakwah. Tokoh pergerakan Islam yang itu dikenal sebagai salah satu penggagas berdirinya ICMI, Bank Muamalat, dan harian Republika.
Bang Imad meninggal dunia Sabtu (2/8) pagi pukul 09.15 WIB di rumahnya setelah empat tahun berjuang melawan stroke dan jantung. Menurut rencana jenazah Bang Imad akan dimakamkan di Taman Makam Pahlawan Kalibata, Minggu (3/8) pukul 07.00 WIB. Mensesneg Hatta Radjasa akan bertindak sebagai inspektur upacara dalam acara pemakaman itu.
Mensesneg Hatta Radjasa mengatakan, Bang Imad adalah ilmuwan, guru, sekaligus pendidik, yang tidak pernah menyerah. Almarhum juga selalu memberikan yang terbaik bagi murid-muridnya.

My dear cousin, whose father just passed away.... wrote this in her multiply.... I can't help to steal her writing about her father, which all true, despite of his fame in Indonesia, we all just know they way he was, just a simply great person. I love him dearly and I am in mourning, reading this writing my cousin, Ima did, brought tears in my eyes again.

Here is what she said (Ima, sorry I stole this from you, it's just so beautiful that I couldn't help it)

Innalillahi wa innailaihi raaji'uun...

My father passed away today...2 August 2008...

I received the news at 4am (GMT) from my mom and my sister. And I got an sms too from one of his aides that simply said, "Telah berpulang ke Rahmatullah, Dr. Muhammad Imaduddin Abdulrahim (Bang Imad)..." - then everything seemed to be a blur...my initial reaction was to figure out whether to go home or not. After careful consideration and discussions with my family, it was decided that I shouldn't rush home as I would not make it in time. The flight from the UK to Indonesia would be too long arriving too late and it would mean delaying my dad's funeral. I was told that I should pray for him from afar and that would be all right.

I was told that he passed away in peace...I thank Allah for that.

I'm just sad that I never got to say good bye properly, and to tell him that I love him.

But deep inside I know that he knew...

I pray to Allah that he died knowing that no matter what...I love him.

We may not have spoken much in the past couple of years, but I never stopped hoping that he will see the person that I have become and be proud.

In the past 24 hours there has been an outpour of condolences, kind words from people who saw him as a mentor, a teacher, a fighter...and to me he is all of that...

I share the experience of many who see him as a mentor and a teacher...but there is one thing that I know him as, that only my sisters and I can stake claim to...as Daddy.

And no one can take that away from us...He will forever be...Daddy.

The side of him that not many people saw...the daddy that loved ice cream and chocolates, the daddy that would indulge us with books every chance he got, the daddy that always smelled wonderful in the morning just before he went to work, the daddy that loved classical music, the daddy who couldn't figure out how to work the video timer, the daddy who got very upset when I had to get glasses at the age of 10 because I read too much, the daddy who could be won over simply by a hug and a kiss on the cheek...and so much more...THAT's the Daddy that I know...and that no one else will ever know.

I will always cherish all the wonderful memories that I have with him, that only my family know...no one else...and no one can take that away from me...

I want to keep it that way...I want to remember only the good memories...the wonderful things he taught me, the inspiration he has been to me for me to become the person I am today. The wonderful ways I witnessed him touching other people's lives with his teachings. The pride that I have in him, and the love that only a daughter can have for her father. I will forever be proud to be his daughter...and carry his name with pride.

Everyday I pray for him...and I will continue to pray for him as long as I live...

I love you, Daddy...

Like you used to always say...I will always be your little girl...

Good bye, Daddy...may Allah bless you to be by His side...

I called my mother this morning, and I found out that no one was home, but went to my beloved Uncle's house, he passed away this morning. The whole memories about him and my cousins, from the death of my father, my sister's wedding, when I was little and always came to his house to play, when he always teased my mother and my aunt every time he came to our home, when he and my father were like best buddies, when I was so proud of him, when I visited him to ask his approval for my 'diplomat' boyfriend at the old ages, 1996 at the hospital and at his house (no, he did not approve), when I saw his open heart surgeries, and millions nice memories about him. I am a big fan of him and I always will. Selamat jalan, Wak Andak.

(sobbing while I am writing this ....)

I found this on the newspaper about his death today.

Muhammad Imaduddin Abdulrahim Wafat Sabtu, 02 Agustus 2008 | 13:48 WIB TEMPO Interaktif, Jakarta:Sesepuh Departemen Teknik Elektro Institut Teknologi Bandung, Muhammad Imaduddin Abdurrahim, meninggal dunia di kediamannya Jalan Bulak Raya Nomor 33, Klender, Jakarta Timur. Sabtu (2/8) pukul 09.00 WIB.  Bang Imad, panggilan akrab Imaduddin, meninggal dalam usia 77 tahun. Rencananya, jenazah penulis buku Kuliah Tauhid itu akan dimakamkan di Taman Pemakaman Umum Pondok Kelapa, Jakarta Timur, pukul 16.00 WIB. Bang Imad lahir pada 3 Zulhijjah 1349H atau 21 April 1931M di kota kecil Langkat, Sumatera Utara. Ia lahir dari pasangan Haji Abdulrahim dan Nyonya Syaifiatul Akmal. Sejak kecil, Imad dididik dalam tradisi keluarga yang patuh dan taat pada ajaran Islam.  Selama hidupnya, Bang Imad dikenal aktif berkiprah untuk kepentingan umat Islam. Antara lain, ia tercatat sebagai pendiri Masjid Salman ITB, penggagas berdirinya Ikatan Cendekiawan Muslim Indonesia dan Bank Muamalat. Hingga dua tahun lalu, Bang Imad juga masih aktif di Dewan Dakwah Islamiyah Indonesia. Sebelumnya, Doktor Filsafat Tehnik Industri dan Engineering Valuation dari Iowa State University, Ames, Iowa, AS, ini juga pernah aktif di organisasi Islam, seperti Hizbullah, Himpunan Mahasiswa Islam, dan Pemuda Islam Indonesia.

I have trouble studying. Either I can't concentrate, or the lines I read just passed by in and out my brain without any trace.

I remember I used to just talked out loud then memorized the subjects almost instantly when I was still in school. Usually before the exam time, almost every single classmate, talking out loud, memorizing things for the exam which was coming in minutes. I usually stressed out because I just didn't study enough before the exams, luckily, during my time in grade schools until dental school, just because I really listen and write during the lecture, maybe it got absorbed right away in my brain, so I always in the top 5-10% in my class.

Now, after a long time without reading or studying, having a mother's brain... I really am struggling to study for my board exam. 

After a long discussion with my best friend, Lisa... she suggested to have my voice recorded and listen to it again and again. Instantly, I went to get the recorder, a very cute one.. and started working on it when the kids are asleep. 

The result is promising... the only thing that I won't be able to study at the library anymore, when I recording my voice, I should just stay at home, shutting down all the phones and internet.... and just focusing with my dictation, when I need to listen again, I can go to library which has so much less distractions than studying at home.

I found out on the internet, an article about memorizing the lines, lyrics of songs, and exam, by listening to your own voice. ... hah! I even get to excited now.....

Allah, please make this method the best for me and I will pass my exam easily, not only passing because I am aiming for score 90.. instead of the passing mark of 75.

Here is the article :

• How to memorize for exams and tests

There are many memories: visual, aural, tactile, emotional, smell, taste. If you are blessed with a photographic memory, then you have the ease of literally “reading” your lines out of your brain. This is because you are able to “see” the words on the page from within your own mind.

But the average person cannot do this. So the memory that will become the most functional is the “tactile” or “muscular” memory. The following information will be geared towards harnessing the hidden power of your muscular memory towards your goal of memorizing lines. As a piano teacher for more than 32 years, I’ve witnessed the miracle of the muscular memory at the piano with myself and with thousands of pianists. The truths that I’ve observed at the piano are immediately applicable to the goal of memorizing speeches, memorizing lines, memorizing plays. This also will work for memorizing formulas and various expressions while studying for a test in school.

Once you “know” the perfunctory technique of saying your lines, you can then easily add expression. The problem that most people have is that they are focusing so much on the blocking, stage direction, vocal inflections and expression that the lines themselves disappear from their mind and they become very embarrassed. This does not mean that you are not smart or that you are losing your mind. This just means that you are normal! Your brain can only do one thing at a time. If you are focused on one thing, then the other thing is compromised. Yet, if the words can be delegated to the autonomic nervous system, to the point where you don’t have to think about it, then you can focus on other things like feeling and expression and the words will no longer disappear. This is because the conscious mind can only think of one thing at a time. If you want to do two things at a time, then at least one of those two things must be automated. This information will help you so that the lines that you need to memorize will become automated.

Create Logical Divisions of Text.

Sometimes, the way the words lay out on the page are based on their poetic presentation rather than their spoken logic. Mark the page or literally re-type so that you can see things in a logical way:

We will use an example excerpted from Shakespeare’s Hamlet.

Original Excerpt:

To be, or not to be--that is the question: 
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer 
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune 
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles 
And by opposing end them. To die, to sleep-- 
No more--and by a sleep to say we end 
The heartache, and the thousand natural shocks 
That flesh is heir to. 'Tis a consummation 
Devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep-- 
To sleep--perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub, 
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come 
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil, 
Must give us pause. There's the respect 
That makes calamity of so long life.

Reorganized text:

To be, or not to be--that is the question:

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune Or to take arms against a sea of troubles And by opposing end them.

To die, to sleep-- No more--and by a sleep to say we end The heartache, and the thousand natural shocks That flesh is heir to.

'Tis a consummation Devoutly to be wished.

To die, to sleep-- To sleep--perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub, For in that sleep of death what dreams may come When we have shuffled off this mortal coil, ust give us pause.

There's the respect That makes calamity of so long life.

Repeat Small Sections Without Feeling, With Overlaps to Next Section.

The reason for this is to develop the muscular memory, separate from the emotional memory. You may have to repeat the same line between 20-200 times before it feels automatic. Do it without expression. Make sure you overlap what you say with the next word or two of the next line. This way, you are automating your preparedness, so it will happen instinctively, without effort.

To be, or not to be--that is the question:

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune Or to take arms against a sea of troubles And by opposing end them.

The lines to repeat are indicated in bold text. The last few words you say in one repetition cycle become the first few words of the next repetition cycle. This means that there is a very literal overlap of words, to create the flow.

If you are doing a speech or a monologue, the process is very clear cut. If you are doing a play, where other people’s lines are interspersed with yours, then you have a choice to practice the overlap from or to their lines, or to strictly do it with your lines only. There is no exact rule about this and you have to experiment to see what works for you. If you are waiting for someone’s cue and you haven’t memorized what that is, then you will have problems, so it may be worthwhile to grab the tail end of their lines and PRECEDE your repetitions of your lines by including their lines with your lines. Say their lines very soft, so there is a dynamic difference. This way, you will muscularly memorize your lines, but be aware of their lines and how they set your lines up.

Create a Mental Index.

When you think of just the first word or two of each of your line, this is your index. If you practice saying just these index words (in addition to running the full lines) then you will be cementing in an overview of WHAT LINE COMES NEXT!

To be, or not to be--that is the question:

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune Or to take arms against a sea of troubles And by opposing end them.

To die, to sleep-- No more--and by a sleep to say we end The heartache, and the thousand natural shocks That flesh is heir to.

'Tis a consummation Devoutly to be wished.

To die, to sleep-- To sleep--perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub, For in that sleep of death what dreams may come When we have shuffled off this mortal coil, ust give us pause.

There's the respect That makes calamity of so long life.

Literally say the first few words of each line, in sequence, as if it was its own line! It would sound like this:

To be, or not to be… Whether 'tis nobler… To die, to sleep…'Tis a consummation… There's the respect…

Sometimes, you remember the lines fine, but you just forget which one comes next. The mental indexing will help you see the context and feel secure.

Record Yourself and Play Back.

Use a cassette recorder or a micro cassette recorder or a digital dictation device to record yourself saying the thing you want to memorize. Then play this back to yourself over and over in the background, while you are doing other things. This will create a complement to the other techniques listed above and will help add a subliminal or intuitive awareness.

Ammar is on vacation. Originally we were supposed to go to Indonesia, but we ended up having a quiet vacation at home, so when the kids are in school, we did some stuff together, enjoyed life, and just hang out.

There are so many things  happened for the last 2 weeks... and my relationship with my husband got better and better.

I had one fine day today, spending the whole day today picking up pairs of glasses, went to see my shrink (yes, I am still suffering from post partum depression) with Ammar for the session, then just walked in downtown, and ate at one of our favorite Italian Rest, Gratzi. Yum.

We went home happily, and spend more quality time together before we picked the kids up from school.

There are so many lessons that built our relationship stronger and stronger since Ammar took vacation 4 days ago... and having internet connection back after the last 4 days, made us spend more time together.

I still have another week with my husband, just me and him, something we rarely have since the born of our kids, and I am so happy.

It's officially 1 year ago when my mother left my home and back to Indonesia. My mom left a sewing machine which I bought for her projects, making all kind of stuff for Nadia and Aidan. I actually don't know how to sew, but today, I ended up taking the sewing machine out, went to used to be my mom's room (guest room) and making a project. My first sewing project. Thanks to Nadia. Nadia's school asked me to buy an apron for father's day project. I was too lazy to drive to the store today, and I decided just to make one for her, the result of my love for my daughter and her daddy. Happy father's day, My Sayang.

My birthday cake. This supposedly to be made on my birthday party. This is my first time making a fondant cake, I ended up making it the day after the party, and give it to Nadia's school teacher, whose birthday is today, June 1. On my party, I was just couldn't have enough time to do it, I ended up asking Lisa to buy a cake for me... Easy huh ? Well, here is my home made fondant cake, pretty flower, and Nadia loves it a lot she wanted one for her birthday.

We celebrated my birthday a week after, because my birthday was on Saturday, the memorial day weekend. We had a trip to Upper Michigan and had my own 12 am birthday celebration on my real birthday... then we celebrated it again, the week after at home with all my beloved friends and their families.

I just realized, when I blew the candle, I didn't make a wish at all, I guess I have it all and I couldn't think of anything this year. Pretty blessed with my life right now. Thank you, God.

Blissful food.... That's all I can say for our weekend experience. The kids and us ate so much that we could not imagine, even Aidan ate the whole food.

On Saturday I cooked, brunch and dinner. On Sunday, Ammar cooked. Oh my! The food we had for the last 2 days were beyond expectation.

Most importantly, we really enjoyed our time together as a family, away from Ammar's workload. Bliss.

I have been longing to have a maroon colored formal dining room, and finally since we know we are not moving for a while from this house, I decided to do my project to celebrate my birthday on the 24th.
I got to tell you, how hard it is to paint a really dark color, especially when the finish is satin. I lost hope, but when it got dried, it looks so much better. Phew!

This is the project since a year ago when my mother was still here. The upholstry of these breakfast table chairs were so due to be changed. My mother was planning to make the cover for this chair and it was never done, since the birth of Aidan took lots of my mom's time during her visit.
Here I went, trying something I have never done in my life, self taught, and I finally figured out how to do it, and it came out good. Ammar likes it. Yay, no more dirty chair.
PS: Mom, look, I finally did it!

Nadia and I decided to draw something for mother's day and we both colored it. Nadia colored the flowers, and I drew the outline and the letters. Happy mothers' Day, everyone. Hope you all had a wonderful one.
PS: Mom, especially for you... I love you so much, I miss you and happy mother's day

We decided that starting this year, the house and the yard don't own us... We owned them and we are going to spend our spare time (which is minimal) to hang out with kids and have a more quality time together as a family. 

I hired a landscape company to take care of our huge lawn and the flower beds, and I am quite surprise how good job they did so far and I am pleased.

There are total of 4 workers coming to our house every time, one is trimming the edges of the flower beds, one pulling out the weeds on the flower beds, 2 people with 2 zero rotation lawn mower mowed our lawn in less than 15 minutes (I usually do it in an hour or more). 

Today, I saw the boss came to check on their job.. and I am pretty happy that they value the quality, and I am blessed with my spare time with Aidan and Nadia, riding our lawn mower truck just drive around... fun!!!

Most importantly, when Ammar is home, he is just becoming all ours... no more lawn work. YAY!

Hm... my cousins are coming to NYC and I can't meet them up there. Why ? Just because I just can't leave the kids behind. Never! Never in my dictionary. Are they too attached to me ? Maybe, but I think I am the one who can't live at night without them. Other than that, too bad I have doctor's appointment on that friday afternoon. They are leaving on Sunday, and that Saturday will be my birthday (yeah.. happy birthday to me.... old mom!) and we are planning to go to Toronto for that long memorial day weekend. Lisa and Ima.. I am sorry, I can't see you guys there!

Now, giving the all recommendations of my favorite places in NYC, I just can't help not thinking about Gray's Papaya and their fresh squeezed orange juice.. mmmm.... yum!!! 

When I used to live in NYC for school, then worked in Central Park area, I used to go stop to Gray's Papaya on the way to work.. and it was always the best hotdog ever!!!!

Now.. I am really hungry

He is a great husband, after all :)

I cook special Syrian food today, after spending morning at the salon to trim my hair and straight to my favorite produce store far away from home, bringing the whole fridge full of veggies and fruits.

Ammar ate so much and kindly enough, he offered me to clean the kitchen and all the dishes and kids' after school dishes and bottles, too.

He has been so tired doing the extra works at the office and other stuff but he has been so sweet to me even more lately.

Thank you for helping, sayang!

I finally got myself to enjoy the hot tub jet tonight, after all the kids are in bed. Putting the music on, put the light on dim, it came to my mind how much I miss having a relaxing bath, by myself, and go to sleep peacefully. Joy! 

Readers, I am so sleepy now, tomorrow we have a busy day again.

Good night. I am going to sleep peacefully, happily and soundly.

Sharper Image stores and any others fun stores filed bankruptcy. The other which we really like is Bed Bath and Beyond.

I still have the picture of the Sharper Image store in New York City, on W 57th St between 5th and 6th ave. I used to go there with my friend, Cathy during my fellowship at NYU 1998-2000 and really fond of their gadgets. 

The economy is bad, worse, and getting worse, and I feel sad that even good stores can't keep up.

I am sorry that I keep thanking for what I have ... it is just that I am feeling so blessed with my life. I can't ask for more, everything relatively perfect, every single day.

I have Aidan with me whole day, and I really enjoyed playing with him, he was fully pampered today, I trimmed his toes and finger nails, then when he woke up, I cut his hair by strapping him on the trike and let him watch his movie.

I also enjoyed him by pushing him around the neighborhood with his trike, and have the afternoon bike ride with him... he enjoyed every minutes. We also played in the sand box, sitting on the grass and enjoyed the afternoon sun. My son totally turned to be brown/tanned. Still cute, according to me.

I enjoyed rocking him and played with him, holding him in my arms and watching those eyes went smaller, smaller, blink, he hugged me, and fell asleep hugging me. 

Nadia, she is such an angel, still. I drew for her, and she drew back for me, I have those pictures and I looked at it, it gave me very warm burst of feeling in my heart. I love my dear princess, and I enjoyed showering her before bed and dried her long beautiful straight hair in the real saloon style, blow dried it and she gave me a big kiss to thank me. 

Sometimes, I feel like I need a nanny or helper. Just like my previous life in Indonesia, I grew up living with 2-3 maids, gardener, cook, and drivers, and I have to admit, I sometimes miss it, but I realized that living like I have now, makes me more proud of what I am, what I do, and what I have. Nothing like the feeling of taking care of your own family (husband and 2 kids) with my only 2 hands, since day one.

I always go to bed exhausted, but the price you get, is worth every single time, when your husband came to your bed, giving you a kiss, and whispers, thanking me for what I did to him and the kids... and telling how wonderful I am....  don't you agree ?

I just spent almost 2 hours on the phone with Lisa... There is so much to discuss, mostly about life, relationship, and in laws. 

There is so much to share, and so much to learn from.

Life is beautiful, sometimes can get complicated, but we will survive, in any conditions and any circumstances, because we... are strong .... human is miracle.

Okay, got to do my errands!!!

Dalai Lama in Ann Arbor... Richard Gere, too!!!

Actor Richard Gere and acclaimed composer Philip Glass will join local Tibetan master Gelek Rimpoche for a discussion of Buddhism and art during a program that has been added as a prelude to the upcoming two-day visit of the Dalai Lama to Ann Arbor.

The program will be at Hill Auditorium on the University of Michigan campus on the evening of Friday, April 18. It was announced Wednesday by organizers planning the visit of the Dalai Lama on Saturday and Sunday, April 19-20.

Update on Aidan's health.

It turned out that when the Child Urologist wanted Aidan to come so much earlier due to my e-mail was after hours ... I came with Nadia and Aidan at 5.30 pm, no one was there, the receptionist even already closed her book that day, so I couldn't pay the co-payment. So he was so nice to see Aidan after office hours.

Ammar came to see us (he works at the same hospital), and after discussing what happened with Aidan. Nothing to worry about, he is fine. Great! I am relieved.

Dr. Bloom was so nice, he gave Nadia stickers and both of the kids the baseball trading cards.

I went home by my self because Ammar still have to see another patient that night (he works harder, doesn't he ?)

I took advantage from my husband's profession today.

Yesterday, Aidan was seen by his pediatrician and she referred him to see the pediatric urologist. They set up the appointment for Aidan and the first available was July 7th!!! It's 3 months from now!!!

This morning, I emailed the pediatric urologist, and just saying that I look forward to see him in July, and I have met him and found out he is such a super kind person (it's true, we met at the new faculty welcome party), and I just told him the short story about what happened with Aidan.

I got a phone call from his clinic... he moved Aidan's appointment for this Monday.

Well, I didn't ask bluntly that I want to see him earlier, but he made Aidan special by knowing Ammar works at the same hospital.

From Ammar's point of view : "Sari, it's not urgent.... you are asking between the line that you want the earlier appointment"

My point of view : "Hey, I am a mom and I am worry about my son.. hehe"

The truth : "Is it wrong or not using your husband's name in getting a better health care ?" 

After all, he treated patients, too and I think his family deserves to be treated well, too.

My three favorite cute faces, my world, and my hearts.

I am bit sad that we won't be able to go to Maui, Hawaii this year, as we always do for the last 6 years. This year, so much in our plate and we decided to put it for our friends to enjoyed it... just reimburse us with the maintenance fee this year. 

In the other hand, I feel so sorry for Aidan, he has never been to Hawaii and he has no idea how fun it is, while Nadia has been there twice and she enjoyed every minute of it. 

Oh well, maybe next year!! Nope.. next year will be filled of overseas traveling.. Here we come, Indonesia and Syria!!!

FREAKIN' AWESOME EASTER EGG HUNTING PARTY!!!

We had a 2 weeks later easter egg hunting party. Because this year we are hosting and we spent easter in Florida, we decided to make it 2 weeks later. Fortunately this weekend was sooo georgeous!!! Everyone enjoyed the weather outside just to sit down on the grass and hung out or they just rather standing up around the food table (the food were incredible!!!) or sitting in the sunroom and patio chatting and eat in the warmth of the sunny weather.

I was surprised that the party went so well, I made 3 dishes, and they were all gone by the end of the party and I had to prepare a day before because Ammar is on call and he worked the whole day on the weekend, and between taking care of the kids and cooking, preparing the house and the decoration.. I finished it up at by 10 pm and went to bed exhaustedly on Saturday night. I couldn't expect to have Ammar help me out because he went home crashing on Saturday, too, bringing Nadia to sleep with him (so he wouldn't read her story book hehe) and went to work again early in the morning on the party day.

Aidan surprisingly was so tired and wanted to nap earlier, 9.30 am, by the time all the guests came, he woke up, straightly went to the backyard to hunt for eggs.

It was so beautiful out, we enjoyed the sun in the backyard even after the guests left, that was when Ammar went home and played with the kids.

Nadia went to sleep happily, so did Aidan.. they got so happy after playing with the kids and of course, their favorite people on earth : Uncle Bill and Auntie Lisa.

Since we moved to Ann Arbor, I hardly drive Ammar's car. Today, without the kids, it feels so good to drive that powerful car and just press the gas, in 5 seconds, I reached 55 mph... WHEEEEEEE!!!!!!! It feels like it has been so long that I don't drive aggressively... not with the car I drive.. hehehe... Ammar's car is designed to speed.

Of course, driving his car was not for pleasure, I was assigned to bring the car back to the auto body store to fix some minor things... ended up going there twice because the problem was not all fixed. Ended up having to come back again later because they have to order the parts.

I remember.. when I was in Dental school, I always had race on General Sudirman Street.. to go to my university every single morning... that was when the street was not too crowded and you can speed on that straight, wide 8 miles road... oh Gosh.. that was long time ago.

I don't know,... it hit me today, how much I miss a speedy car... hehehe.... 

Now, having 2 kids and always on board, I drive like a girl scout. Although sometimes I got irritated with some people who drive like elderly...  on a one lane road. Sigh! 

I always enjoy driving, and today.. I really had a blast!!!!

If any girl who is crazy about cars, that's me... I used to just clean inside out by myself, although I don't like too much of washing the car from outside, my driver did that, but once, I even fix my beau's (at that time) car and brought it to the car dealer, and ended up going somewhere else and had better bargain, and of course, I picked him up at his work, with the stunning smelling good, immaculate car, inside out.. he hardly recognized his car.. well, I got a chocolate.. that's great! The price to fix it was fifth of the dealer quoted for. Yes, Sari was a tomboy! 

Still until now, the one who handles cleaning the car from inside is me... not Ammar.. he thinks I do great job so he doesn't bother to do it himself... well, I don't mind.. I love doing it (if I have time).

(PS: No wonder Ammar always speeds) ha ha ha

Update on Jalan Sesama.

Last night we watched the sample DVD the sesameworkshop, inc sent to us, it turned out that Beatrice made 2 episodes of Sesame Street in ARABIC!!!! Yay!!! That was very thoughtful of her.

When we talked on the phone, I mentioned that my husband speaks Arabic, so she said sesame street also makes in Arabic language. Now, we have 2 languages of sesame street movies....

Nadia eagerly watched the Jalan Sesama in Indonesian and I translated most of it, she now knows what "itu" (that), "tangan" (hand), "jabrik" (mohawk hair), "buku" (book), etc.

Fun..fun..fun.. 

PS: Thanks so much, my friend to give this information to me.

Jalan Sesama from Sesame Workshop.

We got home from Florida and found a package in front of our door and I was wondering.. hmm... I have not ordered anything on the net lately... I wonder what it was...

I took that UPS package inside, showed it to Ammar, and I opened... I found 4 sesame street characters and a DVD with 4 Jalan Sesama episodes, samples.

I was so excited. I remember that I had this information from my friend whose wife is Indonesian and he said his son loves the new Jalan Sesama episodes airs on Indonesian Television. They are now living in Indonesia and works at the American Foreign Post, he said he got DVDs because he is a member. Talking about how fun to have a bilingual children, I got so excited to have this, too and show it to Nadia and Aidan. After I talked to him, I immediately went online and search for Jalan Sesama, I talked to a really nice woman, her name is Beatrice Chow in NYC, and she said she would love to send some samples. I asked her if they decided to put the DVD on the market, to let me know.

Wow, seeing the whole package she sent, I couldn't believe that she sent the whole 4 characters plush toys in addition to the sample.

I remember my friend's little brother learnt lots of English from Sesame Street played on Indonesian TV, so this "Jalan Sesama" should work the same to teach my 4 year old some Indonesian and its culture.

We are back!!! We enjoyed our nice sunny day in the sunroom, there is snow on the ground, but it's not that cold. 

We also had a great time at Ann Arbor yearly event: Brick Bash. (Think Lego!)

So much laundry to do and I decided to make the living room free of kids toys for our sanity.

I saw my old best friend from Dental School whom I have never seen for 12 years!!!

It was so excited to see her and her husband in Florida when we came to visit. Our flight was delayed 2 hours and she had a dinner to attend back in Miami so I only saw her for like 15-20 minutes... we also had a meeting with someone that afternoon...  wish it was longer... 

You look so pretty, Linda. It was like a dream... and we love your husband!!!

My kids love them, Ammar loves the Godiva Linda gave us (he-he) and Nadia loves the chocolate and the easter lollipops! Thanks so much!!!

Today is the first day of Spring....

It's snowing!!! arghhhh &*$&#&*$()#

The snow almost melted all.. now it's snowing again? We have been having snow since THANKSGIVING!!!!!!!

We are leaving tomorrow to Florida... yay! Thanks God.. and I am done with this weather.

Study!!!

How hard it is to sit on your bump and study contently!!! We will have our vacation soon to Florida, tomorrow we are leaving. I packed all the kids stuffs and mine, all set. Ammar still have his undone. We have been so sick, Aidan, me, and Nadia. On and off, it comes and goes in a short period of time. I am on antibiotic, so is Aidan. I felt good yesterday and I paged my PCP to tell him how much I appreciate his help treated me as a VIP patient. Today... I feel miserable again... allergies!!! Ugh... spring time is here... pollens!!!! I woke up this morning and found my eyes were puffy and full of stuff.. red... heavy... makes you just want to sleep having this eyes condition.

For the last 2 weeks,  my dear friend, Lisa have been encourage me to study and study by sending me e-mails every day... she really is a wonderful friend.. 

I also have gotten calls from my friends, even someone I have not met, just talked on the phone, to study and don't forget to study.... the most recent one, I talked to my ex-beau and he asked me if I was going to go to school again.. and I said "I am!".... Yesterday, I got my sitter and took her and Aidan to Urban Toddler and I sat down at their cafe and studied. Talked to one Korean Mom and she mentioned about me studying and how much she look up for what I did with 2 kids in the house. It is hard to study ... really....

Thank you all.... I really appreciate it..... that makes me still have the strong will to study, even just an hour a day!!! Aim high!!!!

Lisa.. Love you much!!!! Please don't stop reminding me about studying....

I am sick.... sick... ugh!!!

Yesterday I got asthma attack, it got better during the day, then at night, I had chills, high fever of 103F. I coughed all night long. Nadia woke up crying, she had muscle spasms on her legs. Ammar sent her back to bed. Aidan cried at night, we let him fall asleep again.

I woke up so restless this morning. My right chest is hurting so much, sharp pain, esp. when I breath in. I have short breaths. 

Ammar called my primary care, Dr. Gradwohl in the morning and he asked me to come to his office. I got x-ray done because both ammar and him suspected me having pneumonia. I went to bldg 9 to get x-ray. Came back to bldg 3 to see Dr. Gradwohl again, he said I had no pneumonia. He gave me prednisone and antibiotic z-pack. 

I am still amazed how the u of Michigan hospital system was awesome. I remember when I got my chest x-ray done, I had to wait a long time for them to read and sent back to the doctor.. within minutes from x-rays done, my doctor could see it right away, on-line.

I went home, went to pharmacy on the way back. I beeped Ammar .. then someone called me with U of Mich number.. I thought it was Ammar, no, it was Dr. Gradwohl. He told me that he got another report from the radiologist.. that I HAVE pneumonia, very very early sign and he told me if I got more pain or things are not getting better to call him again, the same drugs so he doesn't have to change anything.

I got home, Ammar called, Dr. Gradwohl just called him and told him about me... he said not to worry, this might not be a real pneumonia, maybe because I got asthma, I am so prone to the lung disease. Ammar said he would give me extra z-pack if things are not getting better.

Okay... now... I feel so blessed that I have someone who cares so much, I didn't have to call the Primary Care office, to talk to someone about what happened with me... blah blah... Ammar right away called my Primary care, talked about me, and everything is taken care of.

I sent Aidan today for school, so I could get a rest.

I want to go to sleep now.... I am so tired and weak.... I didn't sleep good last night.

Finally after a long wait... yes, Ammar has been living in this country for 13 years! He finally received his welcome letter (yes, the security check from FBI came back after over a year.... ) and we received the real card in the mail 3 days after. No more advanced parole, no more reporting to the immigration at the airport, no more EAC cards, and no more hassle. Yay!

Congratulations, My love!!!

We celebrated Nadia's birthday party and Auntie Lisa and Uncle Bill drove all the way from Bay City to Ann Arbor just to attend the kids' party... we made them stay for dinner and had a last minute dinner after putting the kids to bed earlier and had our "adult" dinner together. It was so nice and the food, even though it was really last minutes, (you are a marvelous cook, Ammar), all tasted so yummy!.

Lisa and Bill ended up staying one night because we chatted and chatted.. and it was 11 pm and it was too late to go home. 

I love someone

Someone I got from my prayer

He came to my life as one

Honest, kind, the best so far

We are blessed with our family

One daughter one son

Time is so precious as a family

Nothing should be regret or undone

God, Thank you so much for your blessings

I can't ask for more, my family is so precious

Everyone is so happy, content, ready for the new adventures

Bliss in Life.... Alhamdulillah

(I usually hate to write poems, but I just feel like it today. The last poem I wrote when I had to at the elementary school, that was it, and it was not even in English....)

Me and my kids, 1 year old and almost 4 year old.

I love you, Dad.

Today, is a 14 years anniversary of my father's death. I still remember every single second of that the time God took his life away. The only one who was not there was my older sister who was in the States at that time. She came home right after and missed the funeral by one day.

God, life is so fragile, human being is so fragile. After all the bad things happened on Sunday, we should thank God more for every single thing we have, children, job, life, friends, house, air we breath every day, food, and pray more than usual.

Tomorrow Aidan will be 1 year old and a special birthday wish for my sister, Ezzy, who just had a birthday on the 18th, a day before my father's death. It is always hard for her during her birthday, she is a blessed woman, she finished her ENT specialist not long ago, has 3 beautiful kids, great parents in law, life to the fullest, but I don't know that God planned to have her birthday surrounded by the death of her loved ones. Ardi, her husband passed away 3 days before her birthday, it has been 5 years now, and our father passed away a day after her birthday, and our grandma passed away a year ago on the 23rd.

One thing I know for sure, that she is so blessed in her life, every one loves and cares about her, and she counts her blessings every day.

Dear all our wonderful friends,

Me and my family would like to thank all of you for making Aidan's first birthday party a superb and enjoyable party. It was really nice to see all of you coming and give blessing for our little boy.

We also had quite a day today, just the day after the party. Ammar went to work at 9 am and I went to the basement to check on birthday stuff down, I found a huge leak on one of the corner of the basement (it was raining outside and the snow were melting), I found out it was a leak from the roof, then I went upstairs to get Aidan and beep Ammar to tell about what happened, at the same time Aidan was vomiting, God knows what he found on the floor and ate, then choked.
Ammar called right away with a bad news : "He flipped the car on the road, only 5 miles away from our house on North Territorial Road", I ended up calling our neighbor to keep an eye on the kids, while I was chasing him to where the accident happened. I saw the car, on the side of the road (ditch), facing me... the car was totally damaged on the driver side, the back window shattered, the front bumper was damaged, and both doors where heavily damaged as the car turned 1.5  times, dragged the car sideways and hit 2 mailboxes until finally stopped facing backward.
Thank you God, Ammar is okay, his glasses fell off, and his back was hurt, but he is okay.

After got towed and waiting for the police to come, he managed to drive back home (forget about going to work then), and we dealt with the leak in the basement, the builder came to see what happened, and he promised to fix it.

Thank you God for everything, and everyone is safe despite of the whole ordeal today, we cancelled all our plans today and just rest at home. 

We are asking your blessings again, and thank you all to be our best friends/families.

PS: For lisa, I can't thank you enough for all your help, without your help, the party will not be ready on time. Sue, thank you so much for taking the pictures at the party.

Love,
sari

It was Sunday morning, the temperature went up a bit and we had slightly rain, the snow turned into ice, the terrible winter road condition in Michigan, made Ammar had accident on the way to work. He spins 1.5 times and stopped on the side of the road almost turn backwards completely. He is okay, and God Bless all of us, life is so fragile and you should really appreciate life to the fullest. He canceled work and went home with me. The kids were watched by our beloved Neighbor, Andrea. Thanks Andrea.
This is a reminder of how lucky we are and we are still protected.

Quote from Nadia : "Daddy has accident on the road and NOW, he has silver car!!!!"