It's raining all day long and it's cold. This weather makes me feeling blue. I am not supposed to feel that blue, it happens anyway.
Although today I picked up Indonesian dishes, my favorite, the only one I can't make it my own, satay padang, at my bestfriend's house who just launched he catering business, Lemongrazz, came home, send Aidan for nap, and slowly eating my lunch, enjoying every bite of the delicious meal, I feel so blessed. Even though we don't have Indonesian restaurant around, now I can eat my favorite food of all. Thank you, ibu ibu Lemongrazz!
Your catering business made my homesick gone away, I used to miss living back in New York City, going to the asian friendly grocery, finding lots of Indonesian spices, blue band (my favorite), kaffir lime leaves, etc, and going to the Padang Restaurant, just a subway away. It was heaven!

Now that I have kids, I don't miss living in Manhattan, I love living in a quieter place, little town which still have the high family value, wonderful school, and low crime rate.

Life is busy, reading all my friend fb who has nannies, and during Eid Mubarak they have to live without nanny for 2 weeks, makes me think, yes, I am so busy, but boy, I am so proud to be a mommy who really takes care of my children in every count, cook, clean, out for fun with them, preparing their lunches, and you go to bed exhausted, but it makes me feel that life is so short, it is a bless that you can spend the most of your time, loving them, and all you got back is more loves from them to their own mommy, not their nannies.

The kids are getting big, and I am blessed that I am invited to 2 postgraduate school interviews, hopefully I get accepted and could give more to my family and my kids. Leaving tomorrow night for wednesday all day interview. Wish me best of luck.

It feels like he has never gone.
It feels like he is still alive
It feels like he is around
It feels like he is still in facebook

I left a wall post for him today, and it brought so much tears, realizing he is no longer alive.

Farewell my love, farewell my greatest big brother...

I love you so much, just in case I have never told you how I feel about you.

(picture of my brother and my grandpa)

Summer is almost over, the kids are crazy about water.
I confirmed with Ammar that I would go ahead, joining the club in town, today.
We went and the kids had the fun time in their life, going swimming indoor.
Nadia tried her brand new snorkel sets, and Aidan loved his new goggles and dipped his head in the water all the time and hold his breath.

They ate all the lunch I packed for them, and come home happily.

One great decision I made for our family, on our anniversary day.

Happy anniversary, hope by joining this club, we all are going to exercise, and live healthy dan happily.

My 7th happy Wedding Anniversary, 9/1/02 - 9/1/09

We had gone through the best part of the life, and also the disappointments in life, we went through it together, as a husband and wife, in good, and bad times, in healthy and sickness time.
All those 7 years we hold hands, side by side, supporting each other, reminding each other, and loving each other, sharing our home, sharing our 2 beautiful kids.

I always say that he was the answer of my prayers. Knowing him for the last 9.5 years, I have known every details, I know when something is bothering him, I know what makes him happy, and I know all about his dreams, what will light up his eyes, and what will not.

He is a great daddy, when he works a lot, he tried to make it up at night, he always put the kids to bed every single night, cuddle with them every time he has time. The kids are so fond of him, they run and chase him from the garage door every day he comes back from work... I do that, too.. chasing him with the kids and give him a big warm hug.

Our marriage is not perfect, but we could make certain others jealous just to look at how happy and well balanced our family is. Although we know about it, we are hoping that we are blessed with everything God will give our family, also others.

Our family has grown to be bigger, closer, loving and full of laughter and hugs. If you spend the time with our family, you will see how much we love each other.

This anniversary is something that we cherish, especially at the holy month of fasting, we are going to celebrate it.. celebrate the happiest 7 years in our life.

Thank you God Almighty for your blessings and your gifts to me, especially, thank you for giving me the chance to be part of Ammar's family and his children.

Thank you for your blessings.

Random pictures on our last vacation in Indonesia.
Happy Anniversary, my love. You are the greatest Dad and husband.

It's going to be our 7th anniversary.

Those are wonderful 7 years in my life, living with a smart, loving, goofball guy, that is.

Those kids, a boy and a girl make our family complete.... thank you for your generousity, God.

What a great weekend!

On Saturday, we had Ammar for our own selves. No work, only for us. Yay!
We achieved lots of stuff :
1. Arranging fire truck bed for Aidan who is graduating to a toddler bed from the crib.
2. Setting up a big bed for Nadia's room and clean up her room.
3. On going rooms decorating for Nadia and Aidan's. Aidan's theme will be firetruck and transportation, Nadia's theme will be pink and princessy!
4. Swimming, it's the last day of the summer session. Nadia graduated from tadpole's class and Aidan graduated from frog's class.
5. Went to go shoes shopping, we got really cute shoes for Aidan and Nadia at the mall, couldn't fix Ammar's watch which is broken.
6. Had dinner right after
7. Cuddle up in Nadia's room before bed.

Sunday :
Ammar played tennis all morning while the kids had blast in our whirlpool bath, and ate waffle I made like crazy....
1. Finally after 3 stores, we found Nadia's first 2 wheels bike, still with the training wheel but we loved it.
2. Straight from the store to the park, beautiful park and Ammar coached Nadia how to ride a bike along the path, while Aidan was playing in the playground with me.
3. Had to run all the way back to the car because it was thunderstorm.
4. Kid had chicken nuggets in the car on the way back home and feeling so excited.
5. Cuddling together in the living room, Ammar and I ate dinner peacefully with the kids.
6. Ammar put the kids in bed and read book Nadia so interested in right now : Human body.

Lots was achieved, Nadia is so happy, Aidan got a new car, and I really had good time with my husband this weekend.... what a blessing week end.
Thank you God.

I am back from Indonesia after the mentally exhausting travel, I am back to see my kids whom I left with Ammar for the first time in my life, for 8 full days.

I am so happy to see him and the kids.

I am so happy to have my wonderful husband, who loves me so much, who hugs me a long time during my sadness, who supports whatever decisions I made, a very responsible guy.
God, am I glad I met him and have him to be in my life.
God, am I glad that I can have kids with him, kids who love him so much, waving good byes, and ran after him every time he comes from work.
Daddy, who always make them milk and my coco milk in the morning in our bed.
Daddy, who always put them to bed and the one who checks on the kids if they have bad dreams
Husband who always call from work just to check on us.
A very good friend who always give wise suggestions in life.
A family member who really loves his family and my family
A father, a husband whom we adore, who is so precious in our life.

I love you so much.

I have been playing a lot on facebook, that's how I see my very old friends.

I have been 'friends' with my exs sometimes we chat and sometimes we just kind off cool off. I am a type of a person who think past is the past, I will be friends with my exes, sometimes I got burnt because the significant others could not accept the friendship.

Yesterday, I chatted with one, just because he put my favorite song in his shout out, we ended up chatting, and he asked about my brother who is really ill at the hospital right now. Then it came to asking me if I sometimes misses him.

This is really something that I have never asked anyone before... so I answered honestly... no... I don't miss him.

This is the truth. I am very happy with my life, I have a wonderful ex boyfriend, whom I adore as my beloved husband, who whispers in my ears when I slept earlier than him before he goes to bed to tell me how much he loves me, 2 beautiful kids who really steals my heart, and a good life, God is gracious. I am so thankful for God who has been really nice to our life and our family.

Yes, I am still friends with my ex-boyfriends, but it's just a friend. I have had some accusations that I was still really into them, but not. I got phone calls from them, at the same time I call them if I needed something.

Oh well, this is just randomize thoughts, not for a specific person, but for the whole.

Happy 4th of July and we are leaving for a week vacation with my beloved family.

2 days before Valentine's Day, I noticed there was a long big box in the patio. Hm.... someone sent flower.. I wonder, must be from my husband...

Well, I was right. I shared 2 roses for my little girl, put them in the separate vase, side by side. Loved it and it really made my day, not only the flower, more by the note came with the flower :

"Thank you for the wonderful nine years we had together. I still love you more than ever, Happy Valentine..."

I always tell myself, I would rather have electronic gadgets than jewelry or flower, but this.... this is different... Thanks much!!!

I am so blessed with my life. Thank you God.

Nadia had a wonderful playdate today. We met Riley, her playdate at Tree House when we were trying to get 2 kids out from the house while Daddy played tennis, she ended up meeting a new friend and got 'stuck' together. The girls requested us to exchange phone numbers to play again. This is our first playdate!

We got home from Syria on Wednesday late night, and Friday morning Ammar went to San Francisco alone for conference. It was a wise decision not to tag along with him. The kids are still having jetlag and seemed to be tired all the time.
I thought I would have hard time staying at home alone with them, but actually I kinda like it... I don't have to make beds, I don't have to cook special dinner for my husband... I just cook whatever me and my kids love. I don't have to clean up a lot.. we live messy a bit... toys are all around the house.. every where!
One thing I missed, is sleeping with warm body next to me. Being married for 7 years plus made me hate to sleep all by myself, so I have been tagging Nadia along with me all the nights Ammar's out. One thing I regret, for some reason (rarely happens), Nadia wet her pants and all my king size bed last night. What a work... washing all this sheets, liner, and the down comforter.. it takes 3 80 minutes drying time to fully dry this down comforter. As much as I want to 'kill' the girl... I think I am still going to keep her by my side tonight... despite of what happened. I love it that I could hug her all night long.... nothing like hugging your own kids in your bed.. much better than you own hubby who is so much bigger! Sorry Ammar, no offense.

First frost. It's freezing cold today and we woke up at 7.30 am seeing the frost all over the grass. For crying out loud, it's only October 3rd and we just got into the fall. I am afraid the real winter will be so unbearably cold.

I am blessed on this Ramadan Month. My eyes were opened wider to see what's good for you and what's not good for you.

God opened up my eyes and showed me the bad things in my life, then bombarded me with lots of bliss, in friendships and the way I should look up to in our family life. I learnt that I should always trust my husband's gut's feeling towards any of my friends, he never told me to do so, just a suggestion, and now, I learnt my lesson, as he told me : "I told you a long time ago... now it happened" God proved and showed us boldly, things that has been look so vague to become real and obvious. 

My husband, for the first time in 3 years finally will get a bonus, which will cover the whole expenses to go to visit our families in the other side of the world, with the possibility of salary raise. Alhamdulillah.

The kids, have to learn the good way and the hard way to start forget about things they love, replace them with something way better. 

The only thing still bothered me, but I trusted God's power to place our family wherever the best, the schools I applied. I am just only hoping to start school again next year.

Nadia and Aidan both love their school and they are such a bliss in our life.

I learnt that I have to stand for my family no matter what. 

Ramadan always remind me how God always be so close to me and make my wish comes true, one of them is the husband I asked in year 2000, on Ramadan.... someone who is honest and love me. 

Thank you so much for your blessing, Allah. Amin.

Happy Eid Mubarak,

Selamat Hari Raya Idul Fitri

1 Syawal 1429 

October 1, 2008

With our humble words, we all would like to apologize for every mistakes we made, in the past, now, or in the future so we all can start fresh.

Eid Mubarak from all of us.

Much Love,

Ammar, Sari, Nadia and Nadia

I remember the last time I really had totally wonderful time when I was pregnant with Nadia and we walked on the street in downtown Boston, freezing cold, awesome friends and awesome Japanese food.

Last night, it was one mighty cool/fun/bliss time with my Indonesian sistas, and I was totally forgetting at that time that I am married and have kids. I feel like I was still living in Jakarta, outing with totally awesome friends. I can't put words how much I really enjoyed this last minute gathering, but sure it made my day.

Dewi, Dwipa, and Evita.... I love you guys so much! Evita... happy birthday and have a wonderful trip to Indonesia.

I talked to my mom today.... boy, do I miss her a lot. Everyone is doing fine, the youngest cousin, Zhara started to do fasting fully. My Nadia is just starting, she fasts like 2 hours.. hahaha

Got a new 50mm lens today. It really take sharp pictures. It is so small, light weight and fast. With the aperture of 1.8 sure it will work on the low lighting. Cool.

I took picture of the flower in front of my house with the bumble bee pollenating the flower. I cropped just for the flower, and it appeared very sharp still.

I also took pics of Nadia and Aidan. Can't complain.

This is our 3rd times in Canada for the past 3 months.... but it has been really nice.

Ammar's brother and his family who live in Kuwait, had to come with the whole family again because they are in the process of the citizenship. We arrived yesterday, eagerly to see the kids again, and found out we got really nice great news from them. They had their citizenship yesterday and they got the passports for each of them. Yay!!!!

Now, we are getting so excited that next time they come to Canada, they will be able to visit us at our home...

Nadia and Adnan, the youngest child play together so well while Aidan play with all of them.

It's so fun to finally get together with cousins and family in North America.... looking at them spending time together as cousins... priceless!

While packing, I saw a spider, like 1/10 inch long on the window, I grabbed my macro lens, and here what I got. It's so hard to focus on the fuzzy little spidey.